Posted in Nerdy Musings
September 13, 2017

Trade Those Capes and Tights for Suits and Ties

Super powers are great and all but why does everyone think they can only be used to fight or commit crimes? That’s like taking a second job which, in most cases, doesn’t pay. This isn’t a problem if you’re Batman or Iron Man but for those of us who aren’t super rich or just don’t feel like being a vigilante, there are better things to do with our powers.


Here are some suggestions for jobs that best utilize your super powers.



Weather Control

Do you have sunshine on a cloudy day? If so, why not use that ability to make it rain money.


  • METEOROLOGIST– How many news outlets can claim 100% accuracy. Yours will.
  • WEATHER COORDINATOR– Get paid to attend events and keep the weather clear. Weddings are an obvious venue, but see if you can get the bigger gigs like concerts and sporting events. Those will pay a lot more.
  • AIRSPACE MANAGER– Airlines need you. With your help, they can keep flights running on time.
  • PRIVATE WEATHER MANAGER– Why help lots of people when you could help just one very rich person. Make sure his private jet never hits turbulence and that his every day is filled with sunshine. Make sure to throw in an occasional rainbow. Rich people like that stuff.
  • CROP HYDRATION SPECIALIST– Protect crops from droughts, freezes, and floods. Try working for the Department of Agriculture or a private company like Monsanto.
  • STORM CHASER– Divert hurricanes and tame tornados. Not only is it an exciting career but it is extremely beneficial to society. The trouble is finding someone to pay you for it. Try setting up a non-profit organization.




Maybe you didn’t start the fire, but you can finish it. Try not to burn through all the money you make.


  • FIREFIGHTER– Who better for the job than a man who can put out blazes with a snap of his finger.
  • BLACKSMITH/FORGER/SMELTER– A lot of metal work involves getting things to the correct temperature so you can work with it. For someone who can easily heat up or cool down any fire, this job is cake.
  • CHEF– Speaking of cake, controlling temperature is an important aspect of cooking as well. Try to stick to methods that use fire rather than electricity.
  • SPECIAL EFFECTS TECHNICIAN/PYROTECHNICIAN– Show off your flashy fire for movies, plays, T.V. shows, etc.
  • FUNERAL DIRECTOR– You specialize in simple cremations and dramatic funeral pyres. Lay the dead to rest the manner that best fits them.



Animal Empath

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? They’re hoping to get a cut of the money, of course.


  • PEST CONTROL– How do you get unwanted pests out of a house? You ask politely. You’re less polite when the homeowner doesn’t pay their bill.
  • VETERINARIAN– You’ll have to go through eight years of college just like every other veterinarian but at least you’ll never get bitten.
  • DOG SHOW CHAMPION– Some might call it cheating. You call it a good use of your talents.
  • GAMBLER – You always pick the right horse. It’s like someone convinced the other horsed not to even try.




When you get that feeling, you want… Uh, never mind, I’m not going there. You can heal people by touching them. There’s gotta be a market for that.


  • DOCTOR– Why go through years of medical school when you can heal by magic. If you charge just a fraction of what the hospital would charge, you’ll be rolling in money, Scrooge McDuck style.




When you want to get away, you fly away. Yeah, if you possess the ability to fly, your earnings will soar.


  • DELIVERY SPECIALIST– This works best if you have super speed. If you can fly at least as fast as a car can drive, you should do well at this job.
  • STUNT MAN– Get kicked out of airplanes or fall off of buildings. The audience will love how realistic it looks.
  • TOURIST ATTRACTOR– How many people dream of flying? How many of them would pay you for an aerial tour of the city?
  • TOP SHELF REACHER– Not actually a job but a great side benefit of your power. Nothing is out of your reach.



Plant Manipulation

Every rose may have it thorns, but they never use them against you. For you, money does grow on trees.


  • FARMER– Feed the world with your giant vegetables. Ignore the protesters complaining that supernatural isn’t natural.
  • LANDSCAPER/GARDENER– Have you ever seen how hard a landscaper works to make a property look nice. Sucks for them. Wave your hand and make a garden appear.




Will you crumble? Will you lay down and die? Oh no, not you. You will survive, and you’ll make a lot of money doing it.


  • CRASH TEST DUMMY– Why use a dummy? It would be a lot more realistic if you were crashing the cars.
  • STUNT MAN– Speaking of crashing cars, why not crash them for the camera.
  • FIREFIGHTER – You don’t hesitate to run into burning buildings. It gets hot and sweaty but it’s worth it to see the smile on the old lady’s face when you hand over the cat you saved.
  • BOMB DISPOSAL EXPERT– You get all the fun of figuring out which wire to cut without having to stress about the consequences of getting it wrong.



Super Speed

You don’t go for distance; you go for speed. There are plenty of opportunities for you to get cash fast.


  • MOST JOBS– There are few employers that don’t appreciate it when you get your job done quickly. Avoid jobs that pay by the hour; you’ll never make any money that way.




There are so many more possibilities, especially on the illegitimate side of things. I left a lot of things off this list for the sake of brevity. I also ignored skill and power when making this list, mostly assuming that everyone with a power has mastery over it. Obviously, individual ability will determine how well you do at these jobs.


Let me know about any other job opportunities for superhumans. Also, be sure to comment below.

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