Posted in Standalones
November 28, 2018

Wallace Repairs

Wallace Repairs

1820 N Arbor Rd.

2.2  ★★☆☆☆  37 reviews


sandy from boston ★☆☆☆☆

the guy here fixed my phone. that was nice and all and it can call anywhere and the battery never runs out but hes creepy. i mean he was nice and all. he was like i could add all these features. that nice and all but what is up with his hand?!?! its all metal and the fingers can move wrong and it has 2 thumbs. im not going there again. its too weird.


Darren Alvarado ★☆☆☆☆


I took my laptop there because it kept shutting off. It turns out the cooling fan was broken. He replaced it with some kind of supercooling device and now my laptop is cold as ice. Yes, it runs faster, but I can’t put it in my lap unless I want to literally freeze my balls off. I have to put three inches of Styrofoam under it to use it safely. I took it to another repair guy to get it removed, but apparently, Mr. Wallace has integrated this device into the motherboard and it cannot be removed.


John 3:14159 ★★★★☆

Theodore Wallace is awesome! Now my washer and dryer do the laundry themselves! I just gotta bring them the clothes and they do everything. Sorting, folding, everything! I had to knock a star off because they give me fashion advice and it is horrible. Come on guys. Just clean it. Don’t tell me how to where it.


Hungriest Hippo ★☆☆☆☆

Theo came to fix my toilet. He started by removing that weird hand of his and throwing it in the toilet. It crawled down like a creepy spider and did whatever it did until it crawled out five minutes later. After he cleaned and reattached the hand, he started making “improvements”. YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT DOES NOW! There is such a thing as being too helpful!


User Name Redacted ★★★★☆

Wallace is great. I use him all the time. You just need to be very specific about what you want. I mean you have to tell him exactly. Make sure there are no double meanings and you don’t leave anything out. When I took a team into [redacted] we needed to jump from the plane at 40,000 in stealth glider suits. It was a tricky op because we needed to snipe the guards midair before we landed into the compound. I don’t think I need to tell you how tricky that is. It was too tricky. After 30 simulations, we gave up. So, I needed special guns that would track targets and fire guided projectiles and they needed to be dead silent. I shouldn’t have told Wallace “dead silent”. He took it literally. Now I have a gun that can wake the dead, and silence them again. There are almost no scenarios I’ve needed that for. I did get him to make me the correct gun before we left on the op and it went great! There were no casualties. Well, no actually, there were a ton of casualties, but none of them were ours.


Another Sam ★☆☆☆☆

I wanted to get into biking, but I’m not mechanically inclined. Like, I can’t put legos together. I brought him my bike and wanted him to assemble it for me, but I guess I should have told him what it was supposed to be. Now the thing is in orbit and is sending me weather reports.


Robert Graves ★★☆☆☆

Theo is a madman. I took him my toaster and he “fixed” it. He gave it little legs and arms and installed flamethrowers onto it. Now it roams my house looking for bread to incinerate. I’ve thrown it away three times, but it somehow it keeps coming back. I haven’t been able to keep bread in my house for weeks. On top of that it’s learning. Recently it added cereal and pasta to the list of things it torches.

I am giving it 2 stars because I’ve lost weight. I used to have a donut problem, but little Torchy fixed that for me.


RockyFan10 ★★★★★


I was out walking my dog, Rocky and he ran out into the street. He got hit by a car in front of Wallace Repairs. Theo ran out and brought Rocky into his shop. Not only did he save Rocky’s life, but now Rocky can fly! He’s got x-ray vision and some kind of augmentation to his nose. It’s a lot harder to hide his treats from him now, but it’s worth it. Rocky was already the coolest dog in the world, but now, he’s even cooler.

I asked Theo about his hand, and he said something similar happened to Rocky happened to it and he had to fix it. He showed me all the tools and stuff that come out of it. He’s even got some ports he can connect to computers with. It’s soooo cool! I’m almost tempted to break my hand so he can fix it for me.

Thank you again, Theo!

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